6 Tips to Discipline More Effectively Today

6 Tips to Discipline More Effectively

Are you looking for more effective ways of getting your child to do as you say? There are many ways to get your child to follow your instructions, without hitting or shouting. Here is a scenario providing you with several suggestions as to how you can handle disciplinary problems with your child more easily.
Sakina is playing a game on the computer. It’s dinner time and you tell her it’s time to stop playing because her meal is ready. Sakina is enthralled with her video game and ignores your command. How do you get her to turn off the computer and come to dinner with few complaints and less hassle?

1. Prepare your child for change

Let Sakina know several minutes ahead of time that it’s almost time for dinner and she’ll have to get off the computer soon. This will allow her to prepare herself for when it’s time to get off.

2. Get your child’s attention

Parents sometimes instruct their children from a distance (for example, shouting an instruction to their child who is upstairs while they are downstairs), making it hard for the child to hear the instruction. Parents may then think that their child is deliberately disobedient. It is more effective to approach your child and stoop to their height level, then give them an instruction. This is especially important when children do activities they can get easily absorbed in (like playing on the computer or watching TV). This will help to prevent frustration, anger and shouting and is thus key to more positive and effective discipline.

3. Offer choices

When it’s time for you to tell Sakina to get off the computer, offer her choices. Try the following: “Sakina, it’s time to get off the computer. Do you want me to fix your plate or do you want to fix it?” This will help her feel empowered. Children like to feel they have a say in decisions that involve them. Constantly being instructed to ‘do this’ and ‘do that’ can lead to Sakina becoming frustrated and defensive.
Choices are especially important for toddlers, but work in general for older children as well.  To be even more effective, add something to motivate your child. You could do this by exciting her about the meal:  ‘’We have nice steak with potato today! I am sure you will love it.’’ If Sakina says she wants to continue playing on the computer, you could say she can continue after dinner (if that’s possible) or another day and that it’s time for dinner now. This would be a good time to give the choice:  ‘’Shall I fix your plate or do you want to do it?’’

4. Count to 3

If Sakina still fails to get off the computer, calmly give her a 1,2,3, count. 1,2,3, counts go like this: “Sakina, I’m going to count to 3 and I want you off the computer.” Then begin your count -  1,2,3. This usually works like clockwork. However, if Sakina still chooses to continue playing on the computer, inform her of the consequences for failing to get off when you instruct her to.

5. Enforce consequences

Let Sakina know that the next time she wants to use the computer, she won’t be able to because she didn’t get off when you instructed her to. Be sure to avoid expressing to her that you are upset or angry about her failure to comply. Simply let her know what her penalty is and continue on with your activities.

6. Reward compliance

On occasion, when you notice Sakina getting off the computer as soon as you have asked her to, be sure to compliment her verbally. You can even give her a hug or a kiss, then say: “I like it when you get off the computer as soon as I ask you to.” Or “thank you for getting off as soon as I asked you to.” This form of complimenting your child might sound and feel strange initially if you’re not used to speaking in this manner. But the more you speak in this fashion, the more natural it will become, Insha’Allah.
You might even want to add to your compliment that you know how hard it is for her to stop right in the middle of what she’s doing when she’s having fun. This last comment adds extra value to your statement of praise. You let your daughter know that you appreciate her getting off  promptly.  But you also let her know that you understand and care about her feelings, as you know how difficult it is for her to get off the computer when she’s involved with it.
Try the above tips; you’ll be surprised at how effective discipline can be for you and your child!
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